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Due to a situation that may or may not have actually happened, and brought on by Med’s post, I felt compelled to share this advice with our readers.

When going on a business interview, breath deep, relax, and when the bored stuffed shirt shuffles your papers and asks “Do you have an MBA?”, do NOT:

Scratch the back of your neck slightly and cough, and then stare at the wall absently while stammering, “I wasn’t aware that was a requirement for this job.  Seems a rather odd “skill set” for this position”.

Most likely they will huff up a little a state that “You’ll find that most every job out there these days requires it.  The market is a tough place, and we have to be sure that our candidates can handle that kind of a work load and conditions required to achieve it.”

To which you would respond, ” Really??  You think its that hard?  I would think its hard NOT to get one, especially with the Internet and such now.  Well maybe harder for guys then girls but still.”

After a loud sigh showing their determination that they had been wasting their time with you, they’ll add “So I assume that you don’t have an MBA?”

Whatever you do, DO NOT lick your lips a little, tilt your head and say “An M-B-A….”

And when they prompt you with, “Yes, a Master..” Do NOT interrupt them with ” Yes, yes a Master-Bation Addiction.  Yes I’ve heard of it, I just kind of thought it was a myth.”  Their stunned silence is not an indication that you should continue with “No, I can’t say that I do.  Its more of a social thing with me.  But I am quite, QUITE versed in its practice, and I still feel I I’m a valid candidate for this position.  If you give me the chance, you’d see I can do it with the best of them.”

As the look of shock and amazement washes over their face, LISTEN to them when they try and correct you with ” No, no, no.  I’m referring to..”, and DO NOT interrupt them again with ” Its okay sir/madam, I’m well aware of it, I just didn’t expect it to be a requirement for this job.”  As their mouth drops opens and closes repeatedly, at a loss at what to say, and the silence covers the room, DO NOT try and fill it by continuing with, ” I’m more than willing to learn though.  I will happily give it my all and apply myself to fully getting there. If you could help compensate me for at least the materials, that would help out a lot too, and I’m sure you could write it off as training materials or something.  I assume you have good medical coverage here right?  To cover all the Palm electrolysis and the whole bad vision thing, right?” 

As they begin to tremble, DO NOT try and push it with “If your willing to allow it, I’ll even work towards it during my lunch break, provided there is a good place for it, though I guess the cafeteria could work.  I’ll just have to remember not eat any salads here.”  DO NOT take their stammering as a sign that they are thrilled with your drive and desire, and try to hammer the fact home.  “You know, what could really help is if someone here could help mentor or tutor me on the finer points, to help encourage me, keep me going, when I’m feeling, tired or empty.  I doubt that if you sir/madam would have the time, but if there is someone you could recommend that is really skilled, then I don’t foresee any problem achieving it in no time.”

At this point, their beet red face, tinged with trickles of sweat dripping down, should be quivering with restraint, and they’ll gather up your papers, and hand them back to you, indicating the interview is indeed, over.  As you pick up the papers, the habits of an interview will kick into their brain, and without realizing it, they’ll offer up their hand for you to shake.  DO NOT look down upon their offered hand and stammer, ” With all due respect, I, I , I think I’ll pass thanks,” and then wave faintly.

On your way out the door though, You CAN feel free to walk up to the receptionist and ask “So, do you have an MBA too?”

 And if she looks up at you, and with a sly smile, says “Not yet, but I’m working on it right now…..”, well, if you didn’t get the job, at least get her phone number.  Just say you want a “study buddy” (though it may only hamper the solo effort the MBA usually requires).